Sixp - This is me

I got sloshed yesterday. Me ... -_- Yesterday was the max i've ever had and i became 'comfortably numb'. I could hear their voices but couldn't make out what they were saying. Could see them, but they seemed far off in the distance. I was in a place they couldn't reach. I was alone and i couldn't even feel myself. It was only a few seconds that i could enjoy that moment until i had to bang my head on the wall and my fists on the table to get back into reality. Had to go home in 2 hours ... >_>

Took me 4hours to get back to a state to ride my bike home thou... lol

Well that yesterday.. Today is a different day.. No booze for me today..

Only smoking up XD

You learn lessons in life, about life. Life create's dream's for you, and then destroy's them.
Life provides opportunities and then takes them away.
Sometimes everything seems possible, everything seems wonderful, just perfect, until you lose that vision.
You realise it was an illusion.

Everything is an illusion. Some life create's, other's life helps you create. Once you realise that, you go numb. And everything seems meaningless. And living in those illusion's are never the same.

Some illusion's you cant stop living ...

The same shit that happens everyday!! And today christmas too was no different. Yuh i got my christmas present last night while i stood there alone in the middle of no where. Just what i wanted to hear. Just what i wanted to happen. Just the tears i wanted.

It's sick how you can be in such pain all because of yourself and you also get blamed for everyone else's pain. When they dont have the guts to accept the shit they do, they blame you.

Does it happen everyday with everyone like it happens with me? Every single day ?

Ur family life, Ur love life, Ur coll, Ur professional life, Ur friends, Ur enemies, when everyone hates you, no one understands you, all you've got left is pain and ur needed no where. You loose everything & ur still supposed to act normal.

Life can really break you down.. you stand up everytime you fall, and life will only knock you down again.. in my case.. every single day.. I'm still hoping that I'm able to redeem myself as i wrote less than 12 hours back.. But for now im supposed to put all my emotions aside.. ignore everything thats happening next to me.. with me.. and study for morow's exam.. VTU sucks!!

But i will not back down... Coz i always have and always will believe in myself... I'm all i have left...

It's 4am & I've decided I can do it. I'm no longer afraid to fail. Enough is enough. I can go on complaining about the mistakes I've made & how it wasn't my fault, but i wana correct them now. Or atleast try again. Get back what i've lost, win them back again.

This one last year, taught me so much, with the up's and the major down's. Fallen, broken, depressed, alone so many times. That calm face and fake smile i hold.

Some things wont change, but for the rest ...
I'm gonna push myself harder, and i know il fall, But I'm gonna stand up again, even if i fall again harder, i shall reach my goal.

I'm broken, bin that way so long. No one knows, no one will. And i dont care.

This is a new beginning ... This is me

When i see you walk down the street
With those pure graceful feet
With your hair flowing in the breeze
You make my speech cease!

And when you look up at the sky
With your eyes raised so high
A smile blooms on your face
Like a flower but at a faster pace.

Your lips are red, like a rose
Even marlyn monroe didn't have your nose!

Your skin is suave
Your touch gentle
You smile and walk past me
And take my life away..

The sweetest thing
It is all found
In my heart within

You can only but
Get a glimpse
Of whats inside
With you naked eye

And when you're done
Peeping in me
You'll see your crazy
About me